Happy Singles Awareness Day Snowflakes.

Worst fucking holiday ever. Here are some funnies to make my single snowflakes feel better about how shitty and stupid this holiday is. Prepare for incoming titanic and ice cream... sigh.

Why in the English language do we only have one word for love? I mean, I love my mom, and ice cream, and animals but not in the same way... I also "loved" my ex but that just bit me in the ass.. there needs to be a name for that one... aaaahhhh fuck this. Funny time:

http://www.ranker.com/list/the-best-forever-alone-memes-valentine_s-day-edition/ariel-kana?page=1

tooo lazy, click the link above and enjoy. Bless you single souls.

Ranting as usual

pet peeves:
slow drivers
people riding up on the ass of le car
people who quote mean girls incorrectly
people who quote disney movies incorrectly
people who quote anything incorrectly
"nerds"... you're a bitch wearing glasses. sh.
people who pick on fat people
people who pick on skinny people
people who pick on any people
dumb people
people who are so smart they are morons
people who burn my toast
people who don't toast my toast
and here is a meme. I like memes: douchebag cullen

stay classy, 

J.Ellen

Resolutions!

1. Run a half marathon (bahahaha lol, sadface.) 13.1 miles.. holy crap.
2. Be able to do 50 consecutive pushups (bahahhaa again)
3. Be able to do a split... just for fun

Oh good things and fun. Funnies about exercising and and and dieting and mostly sadness:

Expectation v. Reality

Here are some funny (and sadly very true) expectation v. reality examples...

Here is mine: Delicious vegan, super healthy, beautiful rice bowl with vegetables and tofu v. brown mush with some lil sh**s on the top #firstworldproblems

#1: Anything fast food

#2: New Years resolution

#3: Cookie cutters

#MakeItCount

So there's the whole #makeitcount nike bullshit whatever blah blah blah. I've decided to do it for the new year ( sorry haven't posted in a while... been busy and shit whatever...) OKAY

So today: I decided less than 2 days ago that I was going to go live in Virginia with my sister. Spontaneity is the spice of life my friends. So yeah, my making it count for today, is moving to Virginia. we are currently stuck in PA with some car troubles but should be on the way shortly... 6hrs left. baaaaaaaaaaaah.

Okay so we're stuck at one of my sister's husband's friend's house and we're watching Nicolas Cage movies... BAHAHAHAHAHA. He's such a terrible actor. Here are some funny Nicolas Cage stuffs to observe... (snicker**) because I can't have a post without SOMETHING mildly bitchy and funny:

Face Swaps:

Personal Nightmare: (read the titles. they are funny. and scary.)

Annnnd a video: lots of swears <--counts as a warning

meehhhh heh heh heh heh XD

Stay Classy, 

J.Ellen

BAHAHAH Horoscopes

Why my horoscope is stupid:

Gemini
An electrifying attraction to someone you may have just met could cause your mind to dwell on sex and romance today, Gemini.
                     (okay okay, I'm an 18 year old girl, when do our minds NOT dwell on sex and romance?) 

If you can, set up a romantic evening with a love partner.  (BAHAHAHHAHA...no. very funny T_T)

If this isn't possible, go to an emotional play or movie that moves you to tears. 
                     (fine, I'll go see men in black III. gets me every time.)

Movies may be of particular interest to you today, since you might be reading about how they're made
                    (No actually I'm not, but thanks for the suggestion??)

So yeah, feel free to comment if you'd like me to tell you why yours is stupid beyond measure.

and a gif: gif gif gif gif gifs moving all around yeah look at this gif:

Stay Classy,

J.Ellen

Some Fitness Updates and Of Course... Some funny additions

Okay so I'm making my 2013 New Years Resolutions early, so I can get a head start, why wait  until tomorrow to do what you can accomplish today? A big thing I want to focus on is not focusing on shedding pounds, but feeling healthy, being full of energy, and reflecting that on the outside. Also, my new goal is to run a half marathon. Yep. Being dumped on my ass made me stress eat and then I just hated myself even more. People who secretly hate themselves are the ones who eat garbage. YOUR BODY IS NOT A GARBAGE CAN. However, after my friend Rachel and I made a bet, I went one month without eating sweets with the exception of Halloween and I FELT awesome. So, if I can not eat sweets, you can to. I am an emotional eater, but I'm committed to changing my body and mind.

My New Years Resolutions:
Complete a half marathon (13.1 Miles, as of now, I can't even run one. So don't feel like I'm one of those crazy fitness girls who can already run like 8. I'm starting at the beginning, just like most of you)
Be able to do 50 Consecutive Push Ups
Be able to do a full split (Flexibility is important too!)
Stop Consistently Eating Junk Food (for at LEAST two months at a time)
Stop Making Excuses
Make Every Day Count -- Make an effort to do something every day to make that day worth living

I want to be able to do this for ME. Because I am worth it, even if some people have made me feel like I'm not. 

PUSH HARDER EVERY DAY!

Stay Classy, Let's Get Fit!
J.Ellen

P.S. Okay, serious part over, here are some mildly offensive and funny things:

you're welcome. Have a nice day.